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January 28, 2010 / Filed under: Apple, Products, #fb

I'm glad I don't review Apple products and software for a living, because any positive build-up I may have established prior to the announcement of the Apple "tablet" would be sorely diminished after discovering what the true product really is, and then I'd be forced to discuss and analyze this thing for the foreseeable future.

I am overwhelmingly shocked with this product. I'm not shocked so much with the physical product itself, but more so with Apple for only announcing a product, and not a concept. I expected a concept from Apple - a whole new way to perceive personal computing. Instead we just get a new product - beautiful to look at and interact with, but what real function is it serving?

The iPod and iPhone were announced as concepts - the physical hardware didn't matter as much as the "new way of doing things" did. The iPod was a savior in a shoddy, inconsistent MP3-player market. The iPhone easily took the reigns of the smartphone markets' lack of ingenuity.

What does the iPad do for the laptop market? I assume this is the market that it's in, although it's hard to tell, because it appears this product is a meld between an iPhone and a laptop, with 3G wireless coverge being offered on some models.

I don't see how it could be in the smartphone/mobile market, for these reasons:

1. There's already an iPhone.
2. You can't put an iPad in your pocket.
3. You can't hold an iPad in one hand - at least not while typing.

This means it has to be in the laptop market.

Text input

But without a physical keyboard, how do you input text? I realize the software keyboard has been blown up to fit the wider screen, but there's no angle involved, so how do I type on it without having to hover over the top of it? A standard laptop angles the keyboard from the screen, so you can type, and visualize the entire screen as you're doing so.

Depictions of the iPad prove that typing can also be accomplished by using an external physical keyboard. Great - but why buy two new devices, when you can just buy one (a standard laptop)?

Unless I missed something, what good is a software keyboard on a non-mobile device? The whole idea of the iPhone's software keyboard is you can hold it in one hand, and thumb out text while the iPhone auto-corrects your input to intended words.

Apple introduced the first software keyboard on a mobile device to much resistance and criticism. And this was for thumbs only. We're finally seeing that thumbing out text is not so bad (after much trial and error, and a lot of usage), and now they expect us to jump on the use all ten fingers to type on a piece of glass bandwagon!?

I'm all for innovative new ways to input text, but ten fingers on a piece of glass?? Even I have to be strongly convinced of this being effective.

I didn't bat an eye to the iPhone's implementation of the software keyboard, but now Apple's just stretching their luck.

General purpose

Aside from actual feature gripes, the bigger question remains: what is the purpose of this device? What does it help me do better? What niche does it fill?

I can't answer any of these questions right now, because at the moment the iPad just looks like a very large iPhone, but it doesn't fill a market and niche like the iPhone did. The iPad is just there.

Is it a laptop replacement? A phone? An e-reader? A music player? What the hell is it? It's like they just made it, because they could.

Literally, and comically - I feel like I'm reading an article on The Onion when I look at depictions of the this thing. Is this a joke?

Making everything larger and brighter doesn't always mean that it's instantly better.

"Creating" versus "making"

David Pogue says patience is a virtue, in the case of the iPad. He calls it a "vessel," something which has the potential for greatness, but may not be "great" (or discernably useful) this very moment. David is choosing to stand by Apple on this one, believing that any criticism should be compared to the same criticism the iPhone received.

I'm not totally buying this. The difference is that everyone knew what the iPhone was meant to do, the day it was announced. Same with the iPod. Can anyone tell me what the iPad is meant to do, other than make websites look pretty while surfing on the couch or toilet?

I get that the touch-screen interactions are probably marvelous, and the product itself looks gorgeous, and feels amazing in your hands. But what is that doing for me? What's beneath the surface of that outer glamour?

It seems that instead of creating something, Apple just made something. Instead of the "next big thing," it's just the "next thing."

I'm a patient guy. I am not shooting down any undisclosed plans that Apple has for the iPad. Perhaps some day it will be great, and if it serves a useful purpose, I'm all for it. But wake me up when that day comes.

I'm not bashing this device, nor declaring it's imminent death, but at this very moment, I see no use for it.

The name

Maybe I'll never understand Apple's naming conventions, but "iPad" (girly jokes aside) is terrible. Not only is it not catchy or creative, it too closely resembles "iPod." Maybe that was the intention, but if so, then I'd assume it involves music interaction of some sort. It's definitely not a portable music device - it's too large!

The network

AT&T 3G??? I thought we were moving past that? And it's only on the more expensive models? Why even bother when my iPhone already has a connection, and I can use Verizon (or some other reliable network) for my laptop?

Other thoughts

Honestly, I've never wanted a Kindle more than I do right now. I've been on the wall about buying a Kindle, thinking the iPad would be the killer alternate device. Right now the iPad can do nothing more than my iPhone can, running the Amazon Kindle application. The only difference is more screen-space for the words.

In the end, I'm going to learn a lot more about this product over the coming months, so my opinion is apt to change.

I really hope I regret this post someday.